The Wit and Witticism of Canadian MPs, Part 4

I probably should not have been surprised to receive a letter from a constituent in which he called me a “thief and a liar.”

Unaware of having stolen anything or lied, I asked him to explain what he meant. He wrote back to say that “thief” and “liar” are just synonyms for “politician.”

I think he had me confused with a Liberal.

-- Conservative MP Randy Kamp, in his parliamentary statement of 24 March

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Mr. Monte Solberg (Medicine Hat, CPC): Mr. Speaker, in hockey, players get two minutes for charging. Jean Lafleur was charging the sponsorship program like crazy and got $12 million.

There is never a ref around when we need one.

However last night the Tory Tornados House of Commons hockey team administered a little hockey justice on behalf of taxpayers everywhere.

We opened a big can of whup ass on the Liberal sponsorships outscoring them 5 to 2.

The rivalries in hockey are tough but seldom do they end in the crushing body checks and sharp elbows we saw last night. Last night was a war between two determined teams of highly skilled athletes played out before 15 cheering fans at the Bell Sensplex.

The victorious Tories were led by our fearless first line centre, young Ben Harper with his three assists, who captured the hearts of all the fans when he led the team around the arena with the trophy.

Could this be a sign of things to come, Mr. Speaker?

Perhaps a sign for the next election, when we will be led by Ben's father, this man right here, to victory.

The Speaker: I hesitate to list the number of rules broken on that one ...

Personally, I counted two. I'll have to get a copy of Beauchesne's to find any more.