Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Scott Feschuk, Darth Liblogger

Well, this should be interesting. Scott Feschuck used to be a National Post columnist and humor writer, before he was seduced by the Dark Side and corrupted into becoming Paul Martin's chief speechwriter.

Now that the campaign's started, the Liberal Party has decided to let him run a Prime Ministerial blog. Here is his first entry:
6:36 AM - Wow, look at me! I'm in "cyberspace," where no one can hear you scream. Or maybe they CAN hear you scream but they don't pay attention because they're too busy looking at naked ladies. Either way, stop screaming, would you?

I for one am betting this so-called "Internet" is really going to catch on. It's neato. Take, for example, these things knowns as "blogs" - you're soaking in one right now! These blogs are great because they allow people with special insight to instantly convey their astute observations and sage opinions to a knowledge-starved world. Or so I'm told. Personally, I'm mostly going to use this one to talk about the lost thespian promise of Erik Estrada. Because really, someone ought to. The man had screen charisma the way Marlon Brando had neck fat.
Paul Martin doesn't do irony very well, so as a result we don't expect it from his speechwriter. This ironic approach seems to have sailed right over Angry_in_TO's and Kate's head, leaving them twirling their index fingers around their temples at him.

He's getting better though, sort of slipping into early Woody Allen mode:
Did you see Jack Layton's opening statement? I think that with his words, the NDP leader has finally put to rest the rampant rumour that he got into politics to get results for small kitchen appliances.
Granted, it's not enough to issue a caution to twentysomething Korean bikini babes, but give him time. He may get better once we get past the New Year.

Personally, I can't help but feel that this blog is a cry for help. Face it, it can't be fun spending 44 hours a day trying to keep your boss from sounding like a mid-level accountant who's super-intent on proclaiming Kraft Dinner as a culinary accomplishment. Scotty needs this blog like a tonic, to keep his humor quotient from bottling up to the point of explosion, possibly damaging Paul Martin by being funny at the wrong place at the wrong time -- like, say, in an interview with Rex Murphy.

One does get the fleeting suspicion, though, that the Blog of Libirony may enable our former humour writer to "accidentally" cause Paul Martin to sputter himself into the Opposition benches, thus restoring balance to the Force. (Either that, or I've been watching my Revenge of the Sith DVD too many times.)